When I was younger, I wasn’t allowed to read The Berenstain Bears book series. My parents held nothing against talking bears, summertime excursions, or the series at large. But they disagreed with the way the dad was portrayed. And sadly, it’s the common way fathers are often portrayed in the media today: weak, foolish, and out of touch with their children’s lives.
In light of Father’s Day just a few days ago, I wanted to touch on the subject of fatherhood in fiction and how we should fight to read stories that present dads as being humble, strong in character and resolve, courageous, loving, and sacrificial.
By watching movies, reading stories, and entertaining the distorted pictures of dumb dads as a stereotype, we have forgotten the archetype of fatherhood. God didn’t create men and fathers to be weak and foolish. He created them to be so much more than what modern culture is preaching to our children.
By entertaining the lies of modernity, we expect less of our fathers, we value character less in our men, and we praise less than true courage.
We Expect Less
When we surround ourselves with stories of weak men, pathetic fathers, and parents who are only out to destroy the children’s fun, we unwittingly present our children with a warped view of true fatherhood. Our expectations for fatherhood aren’t as high because the majority of modern entertainment has been overrun with lies about parenting and lies about family.
Last week, I was privileged to attend the Write To Publish conference in Wheaton, Illinois. While there, I sat under sessions taught by Tim Shoemaker, a contemporary thriller and suspense author. In his session, he implored the authors before him to stop writing about idiotic parents who destroy children’s fun. He expressed many of my same concerns about the genre, “Young Adult”, because it often automatically assumes that the teenagers are the ones who will save the day, while the weak and foolish parents are their antagonists.
After reading one of Tim Shoemaker’s more recent novels, Escape From The Everglades, I was thrilled to discover a story that featured a teenage protagonist, and his courageous father right beside him. The story wasn’t weaker because it lacked the stereotypical “dumb dad” with his overbearing, strict, parental rules. Rather, the story was more exciting, more inspiring, and so much stronger because of the powerful family unit the story sought to highlight.
If we only read books with weak dads, we’re immersing ourselves in the modern stereotype, which is a destructive lie. Don’t settle for anything less than courageous fathers and strong family units in the stories you read. When we only read books with dumb dads, we will naturally expect less of our sons, our husbands, and our fathers, rather than encouraging and inspiring them to live courageously for the glory of God.
We Value Less
Once we become so accustomed to the dumb dad stereotype that we no longer expect strength and courage from our fathers, we begin to value strong character less. We don’t see the need for heroic fathers in fiction or heroic fathers in real life. We’re content to read books with teenage protagonists who break away from their parent’s authority, show up their dad while fighting in the battle, and return home to repentant family members. (Mulan, anyone?) We value strong character less because the dumb dad stereotype has become so common.
One of my family’s favorite old TV shows to watch when I was growing up was The Andy Griffith Show. The story followed a widowed father and sheriff, Andy Taylor, as he and his young son, Opie, live in the North Carolina town of Mayberry in the 1960s.
The TV series follows multiple different escapades of the people around Mayberry, but the majority of episodes focus on the father-son relationship that Andy shares with Opie. Repeatedly, we see Andy’s wise counsel coming to save the day when Opie gets himself into scrapes or struggles with childlike confusion. Being raised on the Andy Griffith Show gave me strong illustrations as a child for courageous parental authority and wholesome family structures.
If we want our kids and ourselves to value fatherhood as the high calling that God created it to be, then we can’t allow ourselves to become used to the dumb dad stereotype. When we allow this pervasive poison to corrupt our image of fatherhood as it was designed by God, then we need to read and watch fiction stories that praise courage, humility, and strength, not laugh at spineless idiocy.
Our fiction stories need to empower the boys and girls who read and watch them. Boys need to see role models for the men they will someday become, and girls need to see what a true man looks like so that they won’t marry frivolous fools who will one day become dumb dads for their children.
When we expect less of our fathers, we value character less in our men.
We Praise Less
I did a quick google search for “what makes a great dad”? The top results all featured a numbered list of qualities that good dads possess. Not what good dads are. But what good dads do.
Calvin and Hobbes is an old comic strip that features the adventures and escapades of a six-year-old boy, Calvin, and his stuffed tiger, Hobbes. Repeatedly, Calvin challenges his dad to stay up-to-date on all the latest parental hacks and tips by showing him rapidly declining poll stats of his dad’s popularity.
In Calvin’s mind, his dad’s success is measured by how well he caters to his son’s immediate desires, falls for the latest trend, and proves himself against other “better” dads out there. Calvin’s declining poll stats of his dad’s popularity aren’t that different from what most of modern culture thinks a father should do, say, and act like.
Modern culture often defines fatherhood by outward words and actions, not by the character possessed by a man. Modern culture focuses on what a dad does, not who he is, because we’ve expected less of our fathers and valued less of our men.
A great dad is a broken man; one who has humbled himself to The King and His Son, and strives to raise his family in humble service to their Creator. He carefully sets up boundaries to protect, courageously creates rules to guard, and lovingly disciplines to strengthen.
As I write this, I’m eighteen years old. And I’m blessed to have a dad who doesn’t fit the dumb dad stereotype. He isn’t like the dads in poorly-created movies and poisonous stories. My dad is strong, he’s courageous, and he’s taught me through his good example to recognize the dumb dad stereotype as a distorted, family-destroying, and culture-wrecking lie.
To The Reader…
Don’t settle for cheap fiction stories that lie about godly parental authority and try to convince their readers that the dumb dad stereotype is all there is to fatherhood.
Read stories with courageous dads. Those who fight to protect their families, battle to save them from danger, and die to keep them from darkness. Let’s show true fatherhood for what it was designed to be: strong, courageous, and humble. And let’s read books that teach these lessons too.
